Everyone has probably dealt with some sort of personal issues.
A break up?
Parents fighting or divorcing?!
It is irrelevant to say that a person has been “problem free” of any problems in their life. Problems are hard to deal with, and many possibilities can occur within yourself.
From personal experience, I’ve seen myself deal with the same issues differently then others and vice versa.
One of my main issues I’ve had within myself has always been self-image, obsess with weight and bad binge eating habits.
This may not be the worse situation you have heard of, but from a person who has been living an average life with not many issues to deal with, this has been the worse for myself.
My Worst Time
It was my first time competing for a fitness competition. I finally actually devoted my life to eating healthy, getting fit and practicing personal growth. I thought I was going into the right direction. But I was actually putting myself into danger.
I was doing WAYYYY too much. I was working shift work that suffered my sleep. I probably devoting 20 hours there. I was a full time student taking four classes, I was trying to start a business and I was trying to see my boyfriend; trying to be “Superwomen”. Also, going to the gym took my free time where I was getting bad anxiety. And the gym is suppose to help with that.
Ever since I was little, I’ve had a mom who had a few diagnosis’s of mental illness’s. Not that i’m blaming her for anything, though I felt that I was in a position that I had to grow up faster then most people. I never really had boundaries, rules or structure in my life. My mom was too ill to teach me the basic’s of the world. She couldn’t teach me that, I had to figure this out all on my own.
It was almost if I had an ‘absent mother”. She was there and loving, but nothing more. I couldn’t ask her for guidance or financial help, I was really on my own. This is why I was in danger.
“it was almost if I had an “absent mother’”
For the years that a lot of the other children had with their moms, helping them with life, I was immature, in-denial and lazy. Finally reaching 20. all those years added up to a big shock. I was trying to figure out who I was and what I was suppose to do with my life.
I was really hurting my body by doing too much that it could handle. My mood changed, I was so anxious and worried what people thought about me and if I could meet their standards and if I was going to be the person that I wanted to be. I started to get weird signals in my left hand where it started shaking and my body would just get stiff. My brain exploded with over thinking to the point that I would get really bad headaches.
I started to realize I was hurting. Though I kept playing it “strong”. Just forgetting or ignoring the signals or how I felt.
I followed the meal plans that my trainer gave me, and didn’t realize that she was under feeding me, making me lose oxygen in my brain by not feeing me enough nutrients. This probably added a lot of stress to my body as well, which was just “great”.
Hence, with all these issues in my mind, I had three months before I had to get extremely lean for my competition. I started to feel like I wasn’t really here. I followed my intense and difficult workout that I needed to do in order to achieve the body that I needed to get. Boy, it was fun but difficult. I was able to do a lot more workouts, though I felt like I was going to faint.
The turn over
My body was probably telling me something was up. I started to binge randomly. I was following a 1200 calorie diet (which is low), and I was starved. I was also getting weird cravings for peanut butter. (Now I hate peanut butter after this). I would eat jars, jars and jars of it. It tasted so good. I felt extremely addicted and I was confused why I liked it so much. After researching online, peanut butter is actually a HUGE indicator that your body is really stressed or your not eating enough. If you are dealing with this addiction, click here to find out more
This is how I basically lived for three months. Not the greatest, plus I had to do a depletion that cuts my water intake a week before my competition day. When competition hit, I was truly disappointed.
I was cut and lean for my show, with barely any muscles! THEY WERE GONE. All that hard work barely showed! I was pretty upset that I did all that I could so I could look my best, but I didn’t. Maybe on the outside I did, but not in the inside.
After competition, having no trophy and just dealing with the post blues, I felt empty. My cravings for peanut butter were really bothering me and I felt that I was disconnected to my body completely. I lost myself a bit and my mind was blank.
Though, it was the first time where I had the chance to make a decision for myself. I didn’t mention this in the beginning, but I had a passion for art that I allowed myself slip away years ago.
I truly thought art was a hobby with no benefit or reward. Hence, I decided to start drawing. I had nothing else at the time that would make me feel at ease, besides seeing my boyfriend.
I started painting this beautiful realistic picture of a mermaid with fun and dark colours. This was a painting that needed to be done for a friend. I started looking at the relationship with the fine detail, perfecting the negative spaces in the painting. I was trying to capture every detail to make this realism gorgeous painting.
And there it was. Myself was coming alive again, with a single painting. I felt at ease, everything I felt didn’t necessarily “go away”, but it got better. And I understood, to get yourself back you need to let it go. You need to reach a dark point in yourself to understand what you truly want or feel.
"You need to reach a dark point in yourself to understand what you truly want or feel. "
Furthermore, I decided to take a break and leave the trainer I was with. It was time for me to sit back and re-invent myself. I quit my job and slowly focused on school.
"Though, it was the first time where I had the chance to make a decision for myself."
Exposing Yourself Creatively
When you focus on your mind through struggles, your brain freezes. It’s stiff and clueless. You need to prevent your mind from doing this.
Focusing only on your worries closes your expansion of the world. Your idea’s can’t flow, your life’s message is in danger. You will be stuck in a cubicle. Almost as if you have a boss controlling your decisions, but the weird thing is; it’s you fighting you!
It happened to me, and it will happened to all of us. Even when we think all these situations are screaming and tangling us in these weird directions, it’s ourselves who did this.
Why?! There are many beliefs on this, but here’s one way of thinking of it. It’s life’s greatest tests. If you ever read the Alchemist, it’s truly a wonderful book. A very short summary of it is that there’s a young male that wants to find his deepest treasure. During his journey, life puts him through extreme tests to see how bad he wants his treasure. He is faced with many difficult obstacles that bring him down to see if he deserves to get it. A very good read. It also shows that one decision per day aids up to the life you are currently living. Be careful with your life decisions and don't be fooled that one day "won't make a difference", because it will.
This is why, every time you are in the WORST situation, this is a beautiful sign. LIfe is putting you on the test. Do you really want what you said you wanted?! Also sometimes life throws you situations that it knows will hurt you. But in the end, you have something great waiting for you. The best advice is keeping looking forward and learn what you can.
"Be careful with your life decisions and don't be fooled that one day "won't make a difference", because it will. "
So when you:
- lose someone
- fail a test
- get a miscarriage
Life is throwing a challenge. I know many people do not like what I just wrote, nor do I. Though after each situation, many people always come bouncing back up with a better attitude, if they decide to.
I had a friend who lost her best friend, and she learned that it was her time to go and now is living her best friend’s legacy. My brother failed his Driver’s Ed test seven times! When he passed, he valued studying properly and not to be so cocky in the future. My friend had a miscarriage before she had her second child. Even though it was the worst time in her life, her and her husband realized they were not financially prepared for a baby. When their next baby came, they were in a better place.
“My brother failed his driving test seven times!”
When you are in a bad time, this is a perfect time to find yourself creatively! Here are some recommendations to turn that bad issue around into a positive one OR to get your mind in a better place.
1. JOURNAL with thumb-nailing.
Journaling helps your mind grasp the concept of the situation. Drawing different images with that situation with words helps put the situation in perspective. AND, it helps you let go. Throwing it out also shows your brain that the situation is no longer present.
2. Pick three bad times you had in your life and paint them.
Sometimes people create their best work in their most fearful and hurtful time. An image can represent so many words without writing them. Also, pick a medium you have never used before. This is shifting your mindset with a challenge and focusing on a time that is no longer relevant. You will see how strong you are.
3. Go on a tour of your city.
This is neat. I know this might sound broad but I have a reason for this. When you find the history of your own town, you realize that your situation is not so bad after all. When you discover how the ancestors lived in your city before you, you might be relieved that your life is not the worst. Take pictures and cherish these moments.
4. What’s your favourite craft as a child? Think of one and go to a shelter or a hospital.
Remember when you were a kid doing tons of arts and crafts activities with an older parent? Bring this to a center that has children without families or with issues. This is so warming. Doing an activity with children who lost so much, you see their lives brighten just a little. OR you can see how happy they are with all the struggles they are dealing with. If a kid can do it, so can you!
Once a day, be grateful for ten objects, people or times that you really appreciate. Gratitude shows you what you have in your life and what others don’t. This may not be the most creative action you can do, but so many of us don’t do it. Trust me, if you do this for one month, you will see your life with more miracles and joy.
This is something I can’t explain, you need to do this on your own. But see what happens, and continue doing this for three times a week. Even if this seems a lot, how many times have you thanked yourself being alive for? How many hours are there in a week that you are using to appreciate your life? Don’t waste it.
Question for you! How did you co-op with a very difficult time creatively? What do you think life was trying to show you?
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About the author
Hi I'm Jenn!
I'm a creative individual that has an entertainment business, and has a passion for creativity, health and wealth. I help you creatively beat the "starving artist" term boundlessly! I help you with tips, performance sheets, blog posts, audios, videos & more! Check it out:www.creativeboundless.com